Two people I respect, recently released thoughts about prayer (The Reason Prayer Feels Impossible and I Don’t Know How to Pray Anymore…) It got me thinking. Do I pray? If so, what does it look like? What does it mean to me?
In the past I found prayer confusing or hollow. I think that’s because the way most of us were taught to think about god (I use lower case “g” to distinguish my view of god as different from classical theism) makes prayer hard.
I used to think god had the whole story written. And if that’s right then prayer was just going through the motions. But I don’t think that’s true. I believe the future is genuinely open and not just to me, but to god too. That means when I pray, it actually matters. I’m not agreeing to something predetermined. I’m introducing something real into a real conversation.
I think god moves through love and influence. God’s not a master puppeteer pulling strings. So now, prayer isn’t me trying to convince some all-powerful other to override the system for my benefit. I’m joining a collaboration, a relationship. I’m paying attention and joining in co-creating the reality that’s unfolding moment to moment.
My desires, my intentions, my showing up are all inputs. They shape what’s possible. Not in a magical or transactional way. God’s responding to what’s actually going on. When I pray, I’m part of what’s happening, even your prayers.
It used to wreck me when prayer went unanswered. I would put a token in the prayer machine and nothing happened. I’ve now found peace in the idea that god isn’t controlling every event. Everyone has freedom, even god. God doesn’t micromanage, and sometimes god doesn’t get what god wants either. What a strange thought! But it feels more honest.
I believe god genuinely feels things. Prayer has stopped being a ritual and is now a relationship. I show up angry, confused, grateful, silent or completely lost, and god is actually moved by all of that.
So yes, I pray. Is it important? Sometimes.