I need to back up a bit here. My faith journey took an unexpected detour before I even hit bible college. You see, I actually started out as an accounting major at a State college. Numbers, spreadsheets, debits and credits—about as far from theology as you could get, right? But life has this funny way of throwing your plans completely off course.
I still remember that first college church youth meeting like it was yesterday. Walking into that room, feeling awkward and out of place, until—BAM!—there she was. Alex.
Man, from the moment I saw her, I knew she was something special. And yeah, in that cheesy love-at-first-sight way they sell you in movies, but something deeper. This woman had this energy about her, this intellectual fire that matched my own restlessness. She asked questions nobody else dared to ask and had this way of seeing through all the religious BS that surrounded us.
We fell for each other. Not just romantically, but intellectually and spiritually too.
We got married young—probably too young by today’s standards—but it wasn’t just about building a life together. We were building a shared spiritual quest, though we didn’t have that language for it yet.
But here’s the thing about our journey—it wasn’t like we were always on the same page. Alex was always three steps ahead of me, already questioning things I was still holding onto.
She’d take trips to the bookstore and come home with books on Buddhism and Taoism.
She asked uncomfortable questions and refused to just smile and nod when someone said something problematic. I was thrilled as she’d challenge the status quo.
We became spiritual detectives together, reading religious texts, philosophy, poetry, science. Nothing was off-limits. We’d spend days at the coffee shop and bookstore consuming everything we could.
It wasn’t always smooth sailing. There were times I was terrified I was losing my faith entirely, that we were both headed for spiritual disaster. Alex had her dark nights too, times when the vastness of the universe and the mystery of existence felt overwhelming.
“What if we’re just making all this up?”.
“Of course we are. Everyone is. The question is whether what we’re making is beautiful and true.”
Four decades later (and holy crap, how did that happen so fast?), we’re still on this journey together. Our beliefs have shifted and evolved more times than I can count. We’ve learned to hold our truths lightly, to embrace mystery rather than demand certainty.
And she still challenges me.
I realize how rare what we have truly is. Alex isn’t just some spiritual accessory to my journey—she is a catalyst, a compass, sometimes even a bulldozer clearing away the debris I can’t see past. She teaches me that spirituality isn’t about finding answers but about asking better questions.
The mystical path is sometimes walked alone. Mine isn’t.
It’s been a wild, messy, beautiful dance with a partner who knows how to improvise completely.
I wouldn’t have it any other way.